I've released my SF short stories on lulu.com in a free ebook. I've also redone the front covers for The h'Slaitiarr Conspiracy and Rodan's Enigma.
New blog entry: It's Time. You Gotta Use Protection.
New song — Time
A Techno mix of FatboySlim's Praise You and Moby's Porcelain styles.
New Layout — in the new year I'll begin to rewrite the content.
New SF story — You Gotta Use Protection
Beware the dangers of unprotected sex.
Warning — This is <R> rated.
New SF story — Reality Bytes
Don’t let it get into your head.
New blog entry: The Last Civilization?
New SF story — Luna Vegas?
On the Rocks!
Stupid Tourists!
New SF story — Death of Pretension
What right do you have to decide humanity’s destiny?
New blog entry: Death of Pretension
New blog entry: Oh-uh-oh What's a Good Friend Worth?
New SF story — Design Flaw
What does it mean to be alive?
Three new songs now on lulu.
A Good Friend
Everyday
We Never Touch
We Never Touch is a FREEBIE!!! Download it now.
New blog entry: Fracture.
Just released in print and as ebook.
New SF story — A Question of Loyalty
Phillipa is loyal, but to who?
New blog entry: Just what is it to be human?
New blog entry: The dangers of unprotected sex.
New SF story — Resurrection
What’s it like when you can’t get your head around the future?
New blog entry: One Giant Leap — Predicting future history can require a leap of faith.
Buy my songs fromLulu.com for 79c US each.
More details here
Click to download
from lulu.com
I must admit, this site is a bit of a conundrum. FUTURE + RIFF. You could say it has a split personality: schizophrenic, but with no added paranoia.
On one hand there is my writing, mostly science fiction (a term I much prefer to that wishy-washy ‘speculative fiction’ that is all the politically correct rage at the moment,) plus a few literary stories I don’t know what to do with. On the other side of the coin, I want to sell you my songs, either as MP3s for download or, eventually (if I ever get off my fat backside) on CD for purchase from reputable sites.
I’ve published my short stories here as a try-before-you-buy idea in the hope of luring you into buying my novels. Read all about this vain attempt to seduce you in Writing Stuff! The same goes for my songs. They’re a mixture of pop/rock/ballads and a few other styles, I’ve managed to mangle, so go to Music Stuff! for more info.
To summarize:
Ahem! This site is nothing more than a cheap attempt to SEPARATE YOUR MONEY (aka a few lousy bucks) FROM YOU, WITH ME (aka Wayne Austin) BEING THE BENEFICIARY.
This, I believe, is one of the few sites actually practicing honesty in advertising.
So who am I? (Wait...! I did know the answer to this. Just give me a minute to make something up.)
I guess I only have myself to blame for being who I am. I hit fifty at a hundred miles an hour and the result (so far) isn’t pretty. Forty was bad, when everything sagged, but it’s nothing compared to how life has just stomped on the aging accelerator. Oh my aching bones.... The sad thing is — I’ve just entered my second childhood and I’m in no shape to enjoy it. I can feel another puberty beckoning, but I’ll need a couple of viagra tabs to boost those hormones, otherwise I won’t be running anything up my flagpole (or is it my prostate that's making me prostrate — oops! Now who’s a naughty boy...?¹)
Being the World’s Dumbest Genius, I have this theory: as the universe is expanding at an ever greater rate, so my brain is correspondingly shrinking at an even faster rate. I’ve calculated, through indirect measurements of things like forgetfulness and increasingly dumber ideas, that my shrinkage is inversely proportional to the acceleration caused by the proposed dark energy/dark matter hypothesis. And, in what is bad news for me, while the universe may well fade away to nothing in billions or trillions of years, my brain will only take a few decades (or less) to shrink to the ultimate BIG DUH!
Can’t say I’m looking forward to it.²
Some people fear that one day their past will catch up with them. For me, mine couldn't be bothered. I’m an old IT hack — mostly corporate, database stuff, but with a smidgen of interesting stuff like the early days of remote sensing and DNA analysis — who got caught on the slippery slide of contracting. And while it paid well, it slowly pidgeon-holed me out of a career. But part of that was my own fault. You see, I caught the writing bug. Back in 2000 the infection set in and it’s been a long and depressing struggle ever since.
So, if you’re feeling depressed try some new medication!¹
Yep, if you haven’t guessed it, I’m also a tragic songwriter. It’s taken years to hone my craft and get those rough edges just right. Let’s face it, I’ll never be an Idol contestant; I’m not pubescent nor am I the world’s best singer, but then neither is Dylan and look at how many fans drool over his every gutteral mumbling.
So read my stories and listen to snippets of my songs AND (if you’re in a particularly charitable mood) buy them, or my novels (or both). Just think of me as an acquired taste that you have to keep on acquiring until you do get a taste.
Go on, make an old man happy, but not in a paedophile kind of way, unless you’e over eighteen, female, attractive and sick in the head. (Why else would you want anything to do with an old reprobate who has no money?)
Or better still! Make me rich! Yeah ... I don’t know, call me weird, but I kinda like that idea.
Actually I have nothing to write home about, although I did get ripped off once, when I bought a supposed history of the Austin family that was just a con. It was my father’s fault. I was suspicious, but when I told him about it, he urged me to buy it.
So I did.
And thirty odd bucks went down the drain. When it arrived, I ripped open the thick package and tore through the padding to free a photocopied piece of crap, full of general information about carrying out a genealogy search and with spaces where the sucker’s surname could be inserted. I’ve still got it somewhere because the paper’s too rough to use as toilet paper. I know, I tried! Couldn’t sit down for a week.
So, apart from sitting in front of the TV doing a great impersonation of a stunned mullet, or sitting in front of the computer doing another great impersonation of a stunned mullet, or asleep in bed doing a fantastic impersonation of stunned mullet snoring, my life’s not all that fishy.
Sadly, I don’t have many vices because I’m crap at woodwork (or any work for that matter.) With the price of petrol, I’ve decided not to take up sniffing and I have to say that despite my expansive waistline, I am getting fit pushing the car everywhere. And if you believe that, you’ll believe anything.
So believe me when I say you won’t be sorry and BUY MY STUFF!!!
Please....
¹ Check out the lyrics in my songs for the reference. Okay, it’s a weak joke and the song isn’t about me, but you never know. Once upon a time....
²Thanks alcohol ... thanks a lot.
